Specialisms
A relationship you believed in has become a series of demands for money.
This pattern works with time. Over weeks and months a bond is formed that is experienced as real, before the first request for money arrives – small, justified, with a promise of repayment. Further requests follow. Anyone who contacts us here has usually lost two things: a sum that is often substantial, and a relationship that was real for them. Both belong to the facts.
Circumstances
Clarify the context
Evidence
Preserve documents
Deadlines
Explain any urgency
Approach
Discuss the next steps
Immediate steps
What to do now
The first impulse is often to delete everything. That is precisely what you should not do – the communication is the most important evidence you have.
Make no further payment
That also applies to an allegedly final fee, a release, or an amount that is supposed to unlock a payment already made. As long as payments continue, the series of demands does not end, and every further payment worsens the starting position.
Do not delete anything – not even the profile
Preserve chat histories, pictures, profile names, telephone numbers, e-mail addresses and voice messages in full and export them insofar as the messenger allows. Also secure screenshots of the profiles before they are deleted. Blocking a contact can end access to the history.
Involve the bank and payment service provider
Report the payments made and expressly ask for a recall of transfers that have not yet been completed. In the case of cash transfers, a payout to the recipient can in some circumstances still be stopped as long as it has not taken place – here, hours count.
Compile the payment history in full
Record every payment with date, amount, recipient name, IBAN or wallet address, purpose and reference number. Especially with long histories, this listing is laborious and at the same time the foundation of every further examination.
Raise forwarded payments immediately
If you have received and forwarded money belonging to other people or made an account available, say so openly. Such events can have their own legal consequences for you, and the order of the steps must then be planned differently.
File a criminal complaint and end the contact
File a complaint and then break off contact. Do not reply to requests, threats or protestations, but continue to document new contact attempts. If intimate recordings are used for blackmail, do not give in to demands and secure the messages.
Contact & appointments
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+372 6 288 2000
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+49 30 41733313
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How the pattern is constructed
Contact begins through a dating platform, a social network, a game or a supposedly misaddressed message. A phase of intensive, often daily communication follows, which is quickly moved to a messenger. The invented biography is stable and designed to explain lasting physical absence: a deployment abroad, work on a platform or a ship, a project in a distant country. In-person meetings regularly fall through at short notice.
The first request for money is small and plausible – a medical treatment, a blocked transfer, a customs fee for a shipment. It is repaid or its repayment is credibly announced. After that, frequency and amounts increase. In many cases the suggestion later follows to invest together in a trading platform; the patterns of romance scam and investment fraud merge at this point.
Some cases do not end with the break-off. Those affected are asked to receive and forward payments from other people, or threats follow to publish intimate recordings. Anyone who has forwarded payments for third parties can themselves become the subject of an investigation without knowing it. That too belongs in the first inventory, because it changes the order of the steps.
Recognising the signs
How the pattern becomes visible
Looking back, the following points are almost always present. They are not an accusation – the construction is designed so that they do not stand out individually.
- An in-person meeting never takes place; appointments each fall through at short notice because of a new obstacle.
- Video calls do not take place, or only very briefly, supposedly because of a poor connection or technical problems.
- Communication is moved early from the platform to a private messenger.
- The pictures look professional; a reverse search attributes them to another person.
- After a short time, future plans, joint financial questions or a marriage are on the table.
- Payments are to be made to third parties, via cash-transfer services or in crypto assets, not to the contact themselves.
- A request for repayment is followed by a new, more urgent emergency or the accusation that you have no trust.
Possible measures
Possible measures
We handle these cases confidentially and without prejudgment. What makes sense depends on the payment channel, the timeline and whether anything tangible exists on the other side.
Structured recording of the facts
We put communication and payments into a robust chronology. That is a prerequisite for every further step and at the same time relieves you of having to recount the course of events repeatedly to several bodies.
Tracing the payment channels
We examine which institutions, transfer services and trading platforms were involved and where requests for information or protective measures can take hold. A right to information against a payment service provider may come into consideration depending on the facts.
Criminal complaint and connection to existing proceedings
The same recipient accounts frequently appear in several proceedings. We prepare the complaint so that a link is possible. The investigating authorities alone decide on the further course.
Civil-law steps against identified recipients
If an account holder in Germany or elsewhere in Europe can be identified, claims for recovery may come into consideration. Whether such a course is economically worthwhile is something we examine with you in advance.
Handling blackmail and threats of publication
If recordings are used to exert pressure, deletion and cease-and-desist requests against platforms as well as criminal-law steps may come into consideration. Payments here are regularly counterproductive, because they continue the demands.
Protection where payments have been forwarded
If third-party funds have been moved through your account, a defence of your own may become necessary. We clarify this question first, because it determines the course of all further steps.
Prospects
How the prospects are to be assessed
Whether payments can be recovered depends on where they have flowed and who still holds them. Transfers to an account in the European payment area whose holder can be identified are a different starting position from cash transfers abroad or crypto payments. In histories spanning many months, experience shows that the greater part of the funds has long since been distributed. No one can promise you an outcome.
Some avenues close within hours – for example stopping a cash transfer that has not yet been paid out, or recalling a transfer that has just been executed. Others remain open longer, in particular the complaint, information about recipient accounts, and the question of whether action can be taken against an identified account holder. Realistically, the second part often covers only a slice of the overall loss.
What remains in every case is a structured inventory and clarification of whether forwarded payments have created risks of your own. That is not a consolation prize, but often the part that prevents further harm. The shared foundations on evidence preservation and payment tracing are set out in the Fraud & Scam practice area.
Frequently asked questions
Frequently asked questions about romance scams
The answers describe the framework. What applies in your case depends on the payment channel, the time period and the accounts involved.
Related specialisms
Patterns that often overlap
Fraud rarely follows just one pattern. If your case only partly matches, related specialisms may help you understand the connections.
Crypto fraud
Wallet access, exit scams and trading platforms that do not pay out – tracing, information requests and the limits of enforcement.
Find out moreInvestment Fraud
Dubious return promises, trading portals and participation models – payment routes, information requests and possible claims.
Find out moreTelephone fraud
Shock calls, fake officials and alleged technical support – immediate measures and possible steps afterwards.
Find out more
Related information
Related information
- Fraud and scamsWhen fraud is suspected, payment routes, correspondence and timing are important starting points.
- Recognising signs of fraudUrgency, secrecy and extra payments before a promised withdrawal are recurring warning signs. A single feature does not replace examination of the facts.
- Fraud patterns at a glanceForged invoices, fabricated relationships and manipulated investment platforms follow different patterns. Explore how they work and possible next steps.
- Contact usDescribe your matter in a few sentences. Include only what is needed for the initial contact. Documents can be requested later through a suitable channel.
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An enquiry does not establish a client relationship or responsibility for monitoring deadlines. If a deadline is approaching, do not rely on this form alone.
- General information. The legal assessment depends on the circumstances of each case.